


It's Not the Brains

by Kass



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8580340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kass/pseuds/Kass
Summary: "Not interested in hot zombie sex, huh," Major says, managing to make it sound like an entirely reasonable expression of chagrin.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pasdexcuses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasdexcuses/gifts).



> When I saw your request in the "dear yuletide authors" spreadsheet, this idea sprang forth. I hope you enjoy!

They're pausing between rounds of Halo for a bio break. Ravi returns to the living room with a pair of cold beers in one hand. Major has set down his controller and is sitting at one end of the couch, his legs splayed, and -- wait a second, did he undo another button on his shirt? He looks like a centerfold.

Ravi resolutely ignores that fact to the best of his ability. He has long practice at so doing, but Major isn't usually quite so... frontal in his displays of attractive masculinity.

"Brought you a beer," Ravi says unnecessarily. Their hands brush as he hands over the bottle.

"Thanks," Major says, and tips it to his lips, taking a long swig without breaking eye contact.

"I guess you were thirsty." It's an inane response, but when the energy in a room gets this sexually charged Ravi tends to turn into a blithering idiot, as most conversations with Peyton have conclusively proven. He doesn't usually get that way with his room-mate, though. He sits at the far edge of the couch next to his own game controller.

Major has really long legs. Long and extremely well-muscled. (And none of his damn business, Ravi reminds himself. Ogling his room-mate is not a wise move.)

"I'm digging the Halo," Major says, conversationally, "but what I'd really like to do is suck your dick."

Ravi, who was just taking a sip of his own beer, very nearly chokes.

"Hey, hey, you okay, buddy?" Major asks, sounding almost normal, and for a moment Ravi wonders whether he was hallucinating the whole seduction thing that was just going on.

"Yes, I'm fine, I just swallowed wrong."

Major's eyes are amused. "Really."

"Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Do I have to?" Major grins.

"Okay, this is not you, and my answer is no." His brain catches up with Major's last question. "I mean, yes to getting your mind out of the gutter, and no to the blowjob." He can't quite believe he just uttered the phrase _no to the blowjob_. How is this his life?

In response, Major pouts.

"Make puppydog eyes if you must, but I am resolute."

"Not interested in hot zombie sex, huh," Major says, managing to make it sound like an entirely reasonable expression of chagrin.

"I don't actually have a problem with the hot zombie sex," Ravi says, and has to swallow hard at the way Major's gaze shifts instantly from pouting to sultry. "As an aside, I'm not sure I ever really understood what eyefucking meant, before, so thank you for offering such a shining example."

"Anytime," Major says, and licks his lips, and Ravi has to make a conscious effort to tear his own gaze away from Major's mouth and return it to his eyes. "So what's the problem, then? Because I have to admit, if it's not the contagion factor --"

"Latex gloves," Ravi says, shrugging his shoulders, "condoms, dental dams, there are always workarounds," and then he catches himself and adds, "but that's not the point."

"Then what is?"

Ravi is keenly aware of Major's pecs beneath his shirt. "Problem. Right." He clears his throat. "The problem is, you're going to eat another brain tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that, and that brain isn't going to come from someone who was gay, and then you're going to be really, really angry with me."

Major's smile could light up a city block. Ravi's heart does a somersault and he chides it sternly to stand the hell down. "Is that all," Major says, his eyes fond.

"It's non-trivial," Ravi says. "We'll still be housemates."

"We will," Major agrees.

"I really don't want you to hate me."

"I appreciate that." Major lifts his beer to his lips, closes his eyes, and takes a long gulp. Because Major's eyes are closed, Ravi permits himself to watch the elegant line of his throat as he swallows, and curses his own principles. What kind of idiot is he?

The kind who wants his best friend to still be speaking to him once he's no longer on gay brains, that's what kind. He knows it's the right move, even if in this moment it feels as though the act of self-sacrifice might kill him.

Major opens his eyes and puts his beer back down on the coffee table. "I might need to clear up something of a misapprehension on your part."

"Oh?" Ravi asks.

"You seem to think I didn't want to do this before I ate these brains."

"I do, yes." Ravi feels as though his hair is standing on end, as though his nerve endings are all on high alert. What exactly is Major playing at?

Major scrubs a hand through his hair, a gesture so endearingly dorky it immediately ratchets down the tension a few levels. "That's where you're wrong."

Is it possible that Ravi's heart just stopped? It isn't, really; medically he knows it isn't. But he feels as though it might have done, just for an instant. "...oh?" he manages weakly.

"I may have wanted to proposition you from the day you moved in," Major admits.

"May have," Ravi repeats.

"Okay, fine, I'm hedging, I'm nervous over here," Major bitches. "I wanted to. Is that what you want me to say?"

"Only if it's true."

Major stares at him. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"Every day of my life," Ravi retorts, "and I'm not the one who works as a personal trainer, so you'll forgive my dubiousness."

"You have spectacularly beautiful hands," Major says, and then looks abashed, but keeps going. "Sometimes watching you do things -- whether it's working the videogame controller, or cooking, or putting a tourniquet on me to draw blood -- all I can think about is what I wish your hands were doing to me."

"And you're telling me this isn't the brain you're on today."

"The brain is just making me brave enough to say something. And by the way, you're kind of leaving me hanging over here," Major says, sounding ever-so-slightly petulant.

"If you're lying to me, and you wake up after you eat your next brain and have some kind of horrified heterosexual freak-out, I will kill you," Ravi says, aware that it's a threat with limited utility inasmuch as Major's already undead.

"Can you have a heterosexual freakout if you're not actually heterosexual?" Major asks.

Ravi is about to mention Liv, and then intentionally doesn't, because bringing her into this conversation is not going to make anything easier.

Major seems to intuit what he isn't saying. "The word you're looking for is 'bi,'" he says waspishly.

"You are such a pain in my ass," Ravi grumbles, and then groans when he sees the delight in Major's facial expression. "I just handed that one to you, didn't I."

"I'd like to be more of one. -- oh, come on, you had to know I was going to say that."

"I did," Ravi admits.

"So what do you say?" Major just sits back and looks at him, expectantly. Hopefully.

"What, am I insane?" Ravi asks. "Fuck yes."


End file.
